Genesis 1

As we begin a new year, there may be many new hopes and plans. And we are trying to make sense of our lives. We all want purpose.

Can you remember a time when things didn’t go according to plan?

Have you ever felt out of control of your life?

Have you ever felt like life is meaningless?

As I came back here a few weeks ago, I had a plan. But things changed. I had to help people move. It rained every day. Friends moved to new places and I didn’t have phone numbers for them. Some of them aren’t here. It would have been easy to feel stressed or anxious.

My 2^nd year at school, I began to really follow God, and I had hopes for good friends & good fortune; And my life really spun out of control.

I was living with a person who was becoming a good friend, but he was moving out- and I was going to have to live with his younger brother. As a sophomore, I didn’t want to live with a freshman – especially one I did not know. At the same time, my sister- my closest friend- was sick, deathly sick. I couldn’t understand why all this was happening. I was reading my Bible, I was going to Bible study, and I was praying for my sister and for good friends. And now my sister was getting more sick, and my best friend was moving out. I began to question God – “Are you there?” “Do You care?” Can You help me?” I didn’t like my life and I didn’t like God.

When we are wandering thru life, we begin to lose hope & meaning in life, and may wonder “Is God really there?” or “Can God do anything to help me?” or “Does God know what He is doing?”

The people of Israel were in slavery, then freed, but then began wandering in the desert following God. Life was not what they had planned. They experienced pain, doubt, darkness. They must have questioned if God was really with them. Or if He had power to help them. Surely they questioned if God knew what He was doing.

We’re not wandering in the desert, but we, like them, are the people of God chosen by Him and asked to follow Him- and we don’t always understand why life is the way it is. When we are wandering thru life, we begin to lose hope & meaning in life, and may wonder “Is God really there?” or “Can God do anything to help me?” or “Does God know what He is doing?”

Genesis chapter 1

1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Anything stick out to you? The earth was void – or empty. And darkness covered it all. And God was there.

God is there in the darkness.

What are the dark times, the empty times in your life?

Maybe you’re unsure about your future. Maybe your friends and family have rejected you because of your faith. Maybe you have been praying and praying- but God has not given you an answer. Maybe your classes are too difficult and you don’t know what to do. Maybe you don’t have enough money. Maybe you are lonely.

God is present in the darkness. And He is about to do something good.

As we read the rest of the creation story of chapter 1, what do we see? What do we learn about God?

God is             Present!

God is             Powerful!

God has a        Plan!

Look around this room, so many things created here. I can’t make a tv. I don’t know how to make a clock work. I couldn’t put a couch together. I don’t even know how to make a map or a flag. It takes skill and ability to make these things. And these are simple things. Just the building we are in, takes the strength of many men to build.

Here we see God not only created these simple things, but He created… EVERYTHING! He put the sun and moon and the stars in the sky… He created the sky and space before that. He formed the land and the seas, and He brought forth all the animals. If it takes skill to make glasses, how much more the human eye?

In the book of Job, He says He hung the world on nothing. He made something from nothing. By His Word He created everything! This IS Power!

He had the power to create everything on earth, including the earth and us.

We can also see that God had a plan when He created. There is an order to His creation, there is purpose. He created with forethought and wisdom as told us by Psalm 104:24.

He didn’t create humans and say, “Oh, they need something to eat and drink!” “Oh, there is no light for the vegetables to grow!” “Oh there is no place for the birds to fly or the fish to swim!” No, He thought of it all beforehand, and created in such an order to create the best possible environment.

By the way, scientists will tell you- the order that is presented in the Bible, is the order things had to come about in order for life to exist.

God has a plan. God knows what He is doing. He is in control.

God is                         Present

God is             Powerful

God has a        Plan

What difference does that make to you? How does this influence your day to day life? How does this impact your relationship with God?

How does the impact me?

1. I have confidence in God, so I have peace & hope
2. I don’t need to worry, I can trust God is in control and can take care of me
3. no problem is too big for God, so no problem should put me in despair
4. God is here- I can always come to Him for help, and I can rest in Him
5. There is purpose and meaning for my life, and I do not need to lose hope

How does this impact my relationship with God?

1. I can trust Him
1. When life feels out of control
2. When life feels meaningless
3. When life feels hopeless
4. When I feel powerless
5. In the darkness
2. I can ask God to help me because He has power, wisdom and authority

God is                         Present

God is             Powerful

God has a        Plan

God gives        Purpose

God gives        Peace

What shall we do in response?

1.      Trust & Follow
– don’t worry, even when life is difficult or isn’t going according to plan
Life can get busy, and it is easy to push God out of your life and not spend time with Him.
It may seem easier to cheat on an exam, than to trust God to help you.
It may seem easier to drink away your problems or to get another job than to trust God to help you.
It may be difficult to tell people about Jesus, but this is what He asks us to do.

2.      Wait on God
- don’t try to solve your problems on your terms.
I’m 30 years old and want to get married, but I am still trusting God to provide for me. You may be lonely and feel you have met the perfect guy or girl, but he/she is not a Christian. This is not God’s plan for you. He can be trusted.

3.      Pray-ask God for help,
He has wisdom and power to help.
No problem is too big for Him
When you don’t know what to do, God can guide you

4.      Worship
– Isaiah 43:7 says we were created for the purpose of giving Him glory

Back to my story. I questioned God, I didn’t understand why my life was the way it was. But later I saw God used my sister’s death to draw me closer to Him, and to change my life. He gave me purpose and direction, and He took her home.

My friend who moved out, is still a good friend, and his younger brother who I didn’t know, is an even better friend Kevin. And thru my new roommate Kevin, I met his best friend Andy- who I told about Jesus, and he accepted Christ- and then helped many other people believe in Christ also.

God had a plan, He always does

God is                         Present

God is                         Powerful

God has a        Plan

God gives us   Purpose

God gives us   Peace

We see this most clearly in Jesus Christ. God had a plan from before time to bring Jesus to redeem us and give us a relationship with Him. He knew we would sin, He knew Jesus would come to save us, He planned it out (see Eph 1, Acts 2:22-24, I Pet1:20-22)

His power was displayed when Jesus rose from the dead. No greater act has ever been done. God has power over life & death. (see above verses, I Cor 15)

He is present with us now in Jesus

And Thru Jesus, we have purpose and peace (Rom 5:1)

      May we now abide in the presence of Christ, trust in His power, submit to His plan, rest in His peace, live out His purpose. amen

Acts 2:42-47

When you think of Christ-centered community you have experienced, what do you think of?

While my summers in Wildwood 05 & 02 were great, as well as in Turkey in 01, i go back to my first summer project in TC in 96 and the subsequent years that followed at Purdue. Here's why...

In Traverse city was the first time i felt freedom to be myself. i was able to share about my struggles, my inadequacies, my sin, my questions, and was still accepted. We also were always talking about God, about steps of faith, about the Word. And we were constantly encouraging each other to tell others about Christ, reveling in God's work, speaking of God's faithfulness, praying together, sharing Christ with the lost together, studying the Bible together, and spurring one another on to love and good deeds.

That summer changed my whole attitude towards others. i wanted to experience this community everywhere. TC, nor summer project was special in itself- there was an attitude- one of faith, and one of acceptance, and one of Christ-first.

i experienced great community at Purdue, as conversations were filled with questions we had about God, our own struggles to walk with God and obey His Word, questions we had about somethign we read in the Bible or God's character. We prayed together all the time- and not about selfish or earthly things, but God's glory. We gave Him worship, we depended on Him. We shared with each other our lives. We had fun together, laughed together, played together, opened up with one another. We never hid our fears, insecurities or doubts. We always put God first- getting into His Word and/or praying not rationalizing from our own feelings or experiences.

And we never settled into a clique. We always invited others in.

Acts 2:42-47 is well know amongst many Christians. It is an ideal. It is the early church at its finest!

What were the characteristics of this church

1. They were devoted to the Word and Fellowship
- it was no passing fancy. These weren't things they gave time to if they could find some free time. It never got put on the backburner. It was not a secondary thing- it was primary. To be devoted, requires energy and effort. It means they were committed

To be devoted to the apostle's teaching means they were listening to what they had to say, studying it, and likely talking about it with each other.

The sad reality of most Christians is they never talk about God's Word with each other. If they do, it is only in the context of a Bible study. We may read it individually every day, but then we don't talk about it with each other.

We may read it and not understand, but instead of talking with others, we're afraid. We're afraid people may look down on us, or misunderstand us. We shouldn't fear those things.

Sadly, we may talk to non-christians about God and the Word, but not much with our own brothers and sisters. If we did this more often, our fellowship would be so much more meaningful. Our relationship with God would be so much more intimate.

And thus we are not devoted to fellowship. Fellowship means hanging out, eating doughnuts, watching movies, getting together once in a while.

But most of us are not even devoted to that. Our job, or our ministry often takes a higher priority to us than the body of Christ. Imagine if we were devoted. We would drop everything when someone called. We'd turn away from our computer screens or tv sets when someone started talking to us. We would make efforts to call and see old friends.

DEVOTED to The WORD and FELLOWSHIP

2. They were also devoted to prayer.

People who pray together are often much closer. There is a deep intimacy that occurs there. In coprorate prayer, we not only see the other person's heart, they teach us how to pray and how to see God.

More often than not though, we say we'll pray for someone. A better way would be to stop and just pray right then! How much more powerful is praying with someone than praying for someone.

And these prayers included the breaking of bread, so these prayers are prayers that were not to impress others, not to make our lives better, but to bring communion with God

3. This fellowship was not one that just met once in a while, but day by day. It was constant. This is more than meeting weekly. i'm not saying we need to be in constant interaction with each other, but there is something more. There is a desire to see each other, there is an effort to be with one another

4. They were giving to one another. They shared everything. This goes with being devoted to one another, so i won't go into too much detail, but imagine if we weren't selfish with our stuff, but rather giving. My possessions were our possessions. i was not possessive at all.

We could share books, cars, resources of any and every sort. i would not worry if my stuff got stolen or lost or ruined. i would be giving. my concern is not for my stuff, but my brothers and sisters.

5. This group was not exclusive, it was inclusive. They never said we have enough people. They never became a clique. They did not worry about the problems that occur when a group gets larger. They did not isolate themselves off from others.

They were inviting. They reached out to others. They welcomed new people in. And people wanted to join them. who wouldn't?

If you saw a group that truly cared about one another, that loved one another, where people were real & authentic & vulnerable & open- people who trusted one and other and prayed for one another- and had a joy from the Lord- wouldn't you want to be part of this group too?
Especially if they were not haughty or cliquey.

The problem with many good Christians who engage in fellowship- they like there group of friends so much- very natural- they don't want to bring others in- they're afraid of how they'll affect the dynamic.

but not these Christians, and neither should we.

i'm sure these Christians had problems- the Bible tells so many stories of the sin that existed in the Church. We will not experience perfection, we will experience problems- but oh if we strived to love one another, accpet one another, talked about the Lord & His Word with each other, were open & honest with each other and invited others to join- what a great community we would have.

i want to make it my aim to:

1. prioritze the body of Christ, put them first- over my own needs

2. Talk about Christ and the Bible with other believers

3. Be open, authentic and vulnerable with others

4. Always be inviting others in

Mookie's must reads

i bet there are other books out there i've read... If i was to make a lit of my favorite, or the most influential, the order might be different....

Here ya go...

1. Pressure’s Off by Larry Crabb
2. What’s So Amazing about Grace by Philip Yancy
3. His Intimate Presence by Bill Bright
4. Let the Nations be Glad by John Piper
5. Pursuit of holiness by Jerry Bridges
6. Spiritual Leadership by J Oswald Sanders
7. the 7^th Habit by Steven Covey
8. hunger for God by john Piper
9. The Cross Martin Lloyd Jones
10. Shadow of the almight by Elisabeth elliot
11. Fireseeds by Dan hayes
12. Inside Out by Larry Crabb
13. No turning Back by George Verwer
14. Masterplan by Robert Coleman
15. Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning
16. If you want to walk on water… by John Ortgberg
17. How to read the Bible for all it’s worth by Fee & Stuart
18. Living by the Book by Howard Hendricks
19. The Wonderful Spirit-filled life by Charles Stanley
20. Finding Common Ground by Tim Downs
21. God’s Passion for his glory by John Piper
22. Gospel according to Jesus by John MacArthur
23. Lord, i want to know you by Kay Arthur
24. The Bible Jesus read by Philip yancy
25. Becoming a person of influence by John Maxwell
26. When i don’t desire God by John Piper
27. Failing Forward by John Maxwell
28. Lord, i’m torn between two masters by Kay Arthur
29. Disappointment with God by Philip Yancy
30. Elijah by Chuck Swindoll
31. Abba’s child by Brennan Manning
32. Our Sufficiency in Christ by John MacArthur
33. The life you’ve always wanted by John Ortberg
34. waiting on God by Andrew Murray
35. The Jesus i never knew by Philip Yancy
36. encouragement by Larry Crabb
37. In the Gap by David Bryant
38. knowing God by JI Packer
39. shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb
40. Effective Evangelism by J Oswlad Sanders
41. Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybells
42. Search for Signifigance by Robert McGee
43. Experiencing god workbook by Henry Blackaby
44. The silence of Adam by Larry Crabb
45. Fresh Faith by Jim Cymbala
46. Mere Christianity by CS Lewis
47. blue like jazz by Donald miller
48. practice of the presence of God by Brother Lawerence
49. The Barbarian way by Erwin McManus
50. Dangerous Duty of Delight by John Piper
51. Too busy not to pray by Bill Hybels
52. Pleasures of God by John Piper
53. Soul Talk by Larry Crabb
54. Church History by Bruce SHelley
55. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
56. In the Grip of Grace by Max Lucado
57. The glory of Heaven by John MacArthur
58. Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
59. Victory over the darkness by Neil T anderson
60. Fresh Wind, fresh fire by Jim Cymbala
61. practice of godliness by Jerry Bridges
62. people-pleasers by Les Parrot
63. Cronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
64. Thinking for a Change by John Maxwell
65. Connecting by Larry Crabb
66. Art of Disciplemaking by Leroy eims
67. Faith: Tried & Triumphant by ML Jones
68. more than a carpenter by McDowell
69. In the Arena by Isobuel Kuen
70. Hunger for reality by George Verwer
71. knowledge of the holy by AW Tozer
72. Christ-centered preaching by Bryan Chappel
73. Folliowing in the footsteps of faith by John MacArthur
74. Tender Warrior by Stu Webber
75. Developing leaders around you by John Maxwell
76. your Gos is too safe by Mark buchannan
77. A love worth giving by Max Lucado
78. Just like Jesus by Max Lucado
79. Thru painted desserts by Donald Miller
80. Desiring God by John Piper
81. With justice for all by Ray Perkins

My boring god

A few weeks ago i came up with this description of God. He wasn't bad, just boring. i guess He's a good friend, faithful and all, just not the friend i want to hang out with.

i began to realize how much of an idol i had made out of entertainment. See, i could sit and watch tv for hours... b/c it made me laugh, it made me feel. God, well in His right hand are pleasures forevermore... and He may be the author of all things, but is He really all that funny?

The Bible is a good book. It instructs and teaches. It is more than a textbook for sure, but still... it's not making me laugh. And i can read a story and gain more insights, and feel more involved even, but it doesn't always captivate me.

Perhaps i need to stop watching tv. You know, rid myself of pleasure or entertainment so my appetite for the Lord would be stronger. i understand this analogy- if you feed yourself junk food you won't be hungry for good food, but... i also see how i take things too far. Like i need to love God more, so let me love other people less. i think we miss the point. The problem isn't that i enjoy other things, the problem is i don't enjoy God.

i don't know how this feeling about God came about, but it's how i feel- and quite frankly, that kills my relationship with Him. When i think of those i consider my closest friends, they tend to people who have fun, who laugh a lot, who speak of short-comings & failures, and give physical touch. Well, God doesn't have any shortcomings, and He is spirit. i can live with that, but when God becomes boring, what is the point of this friendship? He does stuff for me? But what if He doesn't? And what kind of friendship is that anyway?

How did God become boring?

God to me had become a counselor/therapist to tell my problems to. Sure, He's a great listener, but there's no intimacy. He'd also become a great teacher. Sure, i learn alot, but there is no intimacy there either.

And i tried to figure this out. i mean, i do everything i'm supposed to. i read the Bible, i pray, i engage with other believers. But there's no intimacy. Maybe God is just boring. And then, i slowly find i'm not doing any of those other things all that well either.

i go on to reading Christian books. At least it feels new or fresh. i may engage in some theological conversations too. It is stimulating. But is there intimacy?

i've come to believe God is good. God is sovereign. God is doing all things for his glory. And that nothing else can truly satisfy me. But i feel unsatisfied. i think of the Holy Spirit booklet we go thru with students and i think of the words that describe my rleationship with God... and i think of the fruit of the Spirit- and i think so many of them are feelings. Like joy, peace... but it's not supposed to be about feelings. Or is it? Well, why don't i feel satisfied? i guess i just should.

i talk to God, and He listens i suppose, but could i just be talking to myself? Or to the person i wish was listening?

In Books like "thru painted desserts" and "The Barbarian way," there the faith feels real, vibrant. But God to me feels boring, or maybe just bored. Or maybe it's me who is bored.

i cry out for an experience of the lord. i cry out for passion for his glory, like He has, like i once had.

i think about sharing Christ with someone, but i wonder what can i tell this person. He makes life better? He brings joy? satisfaction? But i don't feel any of these things.

Truth. Ok truth. Of course this is the answer. He gives real meaning, and real satisfaction... and the eternal rewards. But this all seems so fake. i do believe these things... but i feel like i want to believe these things, more than i really do believe these things. i'm scared if it's not true, b/c i am sure of this thing- nothing else satisfies, and there is no other solution for sin.

A confession:  i am embarrassed by my lack of faith. by my lack of passion. by my lack of holiness. by my lack of devotion. Who am i to be a team-leader? i am so unqualified. i am so a bad example.

And then it;’s worse. Not only should i not be a team-leader,…. but how can i be a missionary? What am i doing in this role? i can’t share my faith, i don’t share my faith. i don’t read my Bible. i sin constantly.

And then it goes deeper.  How am i even acceptable to God at all? i am an embarrassment to the “Family Name” Seriously. Why would God still accept me.

And that is when grace finally dawns on me. It’s grace. Like always. He has accepted me b/c of Christ. He has loved me, b/c He is love. i have never done anything to earn God’s love or acceptance, and i never will.

But still, how am i a missionary? How am i a team leader?

my sin is rampant. My skills limited

i am no hero of the faith. i am no moses- even for all his shortcomings. i am no Peter. i am no Paul. i am no Jim elliot.

i guess i don’t need to be. God has called me to be me. His gospel makes me not only acceptable in His sight for salvation, but everything He calls me to be and to do.
But am i everything God has desired for me?

i read about others, i read the Bible, i look back on my own life... And i want a radical life. i want to be sold out for Christ. i want to love passionately. i want to carpe diem. i want to be faith-filled.

Or so i say.

Is this what i really want? Or maybe i want a fun, adventurous, but comfortable and controllable life.

i yearn for God to be real to me. i want to experience that supernatural. The problem for me isn't that i don't believe God is not powerful, but that He doesn't act. He can change things, but He hasn't- for me.

Maybe i don't believe enough. Or maybe i base my faith too much on outcomes. Oh the dilema. Obviously not every prayer is answered. Obviously God is not here to make me happy. And He is not a genie i control. Or maybe it's just that i don't have faith enough. i don't really expect the supernatural anymore. After being dissapointed so often, i am not surprised anymore. i accept it. But then, to say if i just believed then i'd get all i demanded seems to be to more reliant on circumstances.

i have come to find God strengthens my faith more thru unanswered prayers than answered ones. He stretches my faith out. He forces me to choose to believe.

But in the process of all this, i have also made God boring.
    - i accept His "no" answers and say blessed be your name
    - i pray though He is really powerful, but effectively powerless
    - i disobey b/c He will always accept me
    - i surrender my life in the big things, but not the small

the Bible is not God. He is more than words on a page. Prayer is not God. He is more than a wishing well.
but this is what He has been regulated to me. The Holy spirit is real, working in my life, speaking to me thru the Word, but do i experience God? Or is that just for the really special? Is that just for the nutcases?

And then today happens.

i'm sitting in Barnes & Noble and i am reading the Barbarian way. A great book. Inspiring. i am excited. i am thinking and planning all the ways i can live by faith. All the steps i can take.

Then out of nowhere i hear this idea of sharing with the lady accross from me- or to talk to her, something. The exact words were unclear, but the clear thing was this- God was speaking to me.
This had happened before. i don't say it is an audible voice. No one else can hear it. i in fact can not tell you what the voice sounded like. but i am sure god was speaking.

i try to rationalize it off. i mean, don't we all hate it when someone says God told them this or that. i am making it up in my own mind.
But this is clear to me. There is no way my mind comes up with this right now.

but, i don't want to do it. A pit starts forming in my stomach. i feel sick. There is an aching. This is the feeling i get when i'm about to put in a call to the girl i have a crush on... or any girl for that matter.

And it's not just a matter of not wanting to do it, i can't do it.

i am now convinced God- the God of the universe is telling me to start a conversation with this person. i have been crying out for an experience of God, and He is giving me this opportunity. and what do i do?

i start to rationalize, i start to think... and i pen these thoughts...

i don't want to do it. i don't. i'm not sure why, but everything in it repulses me. i want to get away. i want to leave. i want to stop reading this book.
This is no longer exciting. It's scary

Why? Do i care what this person thinks? Not really
Oh, maybe there are others  who might hear me too. Or i might have to leave. Or maybe even turn her off. But none of that is why i don't say anything.

i'm just scared. - b/c i don't know what to say

Maybe if i cared about the lost more.
Why don't i share Christ with my friends? Why don't i talk about God?

No, i like being normal. i like fitting in. i don't want to rock the boat

i can share my faith with a survey in the dorm, on the boardwalk, at the union. i can do it overseas. but here? Here is weird. B/c i don't know where to go (with the conversation). what to say.

i'd have to completely rely on You. And i don't like that.

It's like talking to a girl - or really anyone on the phone for me. i need a script. i plan or rehearse in my mind what i might say.

Even now, as i consider talking to this lady i have to muster up strength and think what i must say... but, i think You just want me to start speaking to her- but what? i want to know what. i want to know i won't look foolish

i've been thinking how little i share Christ. But the thing is- i am so unsatisfied with Christ. i don't know what to share. God loves you? Jesus died for you?

And i feel like if i walk away from this opportunity, i walk away from You. And that scares me. but part of me feels like i'd rather take that chance. It's easier. You're not really that strict. You don't really care that much.
The sick feeling in my stomach will go away. And besides, i need to get home for dinner. The consequences are less.
But do i want to experience You?

And now she got up and left. i missed my chance.
i am relieved, but dissappointed. i thought and i thought and i thought and i couldn't get the words out of my mouth.

i am a wimp. But this is not what disturbs me. i can come to grips with that.
It's my own lack of faith

i drove home and i began thinking and realizing.

The hard part wasn't sharing my faith. It wasn't really what the person would think either. Nor was it b/c i couldn't say anything good about God.
And i do all sorts of other embarassing things all the time. i make a fool out of myself in front of strangers.

It was hard b/c to do that would require complete and utter dependance on God. i would have to really believe the holy Spirit could work thru me. i didn't have time to prepare or think about it. It was inconvenient. And it was not managable.

i want a managable God.

i began to wonder how much i would really be willing to give up. How crazy am i? What extent would i go to?

Would i have circumcised myself like Abraham. i was watching a tv show the other day, where the kid would have to get a prick on his penis to become Jewish. Would i do that? Would i be willing to give up a hand or poke out an eye?

I have suffered loss. i have obeyed God and not the world. i have not had sex, i have sacrificed friendships, i have left the country... but those have all become mangable to me now. Still not easy, but familiar.
But what if God asked me to do something that required utter dependence. Would i do it?

i don't like the sense of dependence, of utter dependence. i don't like going into water b/c i can't swim. i don't like sharing Christ in a foreign culture. i don't like being in a room with a bunch of people i have never met before.

i don't like the uncomfortable. i don't like the awkward. i don't like the inadequacy. i don't like the inability. i don't like when i have to be completely reliant on God.

The whole experience. It was like God was saying. "There. I am not boring. You have made me out to be boring. I am here. I really am. I speak. I move. You don't experience it, b/c you don't want to."

i have made God boring. i want to experience Him, but i don't want to depend on Him. Sure i will take the occassional step of faith. i will do things i don't feel all that confident about. But the step that requires God to show up or else?

i want to experience God, but i don't want to have to utterly depend on Him, to completely abandon my rational, to act as if He is supernatural- but if i really want to experience Him, i may have to.

This isn't simply about taking risks. This isn't simply about suffering. Thus isn't about hearing God speak to you. This isn't about sharing my faith.

But experiencing the reality of God by being completely reliant on the Spirit and ready to move at His command.

Currently Reading The Barbarian Way: Unleash the Untamed Faith Within By Erwin Raphael McManus see related

It seems we’ve come so far

but not so far at all

life’s not much fun

and there’s so much left undone

what shall we do?

i’ll walk with you

Life does not seem just

Don’t know who to trust

What shall we do?

i’ll walk with You

this has been a painful year

i’ve shed many a tear

all alone

and my heart groans

Ask me a question i don’t know

Don’t know where to go

What shall we do?

i’ll walk with You

sometimes i feel very odd

and i want to give up on God

will the pain ever stop

Should i give up?

What shall we do

What shall we do

What shall we do

i’ll walk with you

And if you feel this song

i hope you can sing along

the pain that you feel

it is very real

And if you don’t know what to do

We’ll walk with you

Currently Listening Facedown By Matt Redman see related